Next Week’s Is Funny by Timmy Williams 5/02/09

Categories:  Next Week's Is Funny


[Um, not sure which one’s Timmy, actually…]

I was in L.A. this week, and there’s really no better place to think about independent comics and independence in general than Hollywood-fucking-Boulevard, right across the street from where sociopaths dress up like superheroes and intimidate slack-jawed yokels into giving them tips while one of the Desperate Housewives is at the pool in your hotel  throwing a lavish party full of high-price dealers, thugs and whores, all in the name of “Saving The Children.”  Clink clink, glug glug, here’s to baby cancer!

You walk down the street, trodding on names of people who have sold out their individuality in order to get a star with their name on it stuck in the ground and encrusted with pee, poop, and puke; meanwhile, inside your lungs, the particulates in the air set up shop, corrupting your lungs like an agent with a starlet.  Cut your soul out of your chest, fill it with silicone, and we’ll make you an action figure!*

But hey, happy Free Comic Book Day!

FCBD is really one of the coolest ideas when you think about it: promoting reading and art while simultaneously celebrating one of the staples of America: Free Shit.

Of course, once the stores opened, all the bright-eyed children hoping to find something to read that wasn’t in rhyme or about a wizard were trampled by sweaty 28 year-olds clamoring for Blackest Night as if it was the last drop of water on Earth.** Sweat sweat, zit zit, suffer the children!

Speaking of selling out, Michelle Obama: The Comic Book sold out this week.  Now, I am sure it is totally boring, but that’s beside the point.  The celebritization of the Obamas is really moving along, huh?  We’ve taken a scion of change and hope and instead proven how quickly we can trivialize ANYTHING.  Pretty soon they’ll become teeth-whitening, asshole-waxing Scientologists.

Geez louise, this thing has gotten off topic!  Quick, a review!

Tales Designed to Thrizzle #5

Now, I said a few weeks ago that I love this comic, and I do!  It’s a comedy rag and reads like Monty Python writing a comic: lots of absurdity and naughty silliness couple with incorrect history and ever-so-subtle statements here and there.  Plus the art is spectacular!  Michael Kupperman really makes it feel like you’re reading some weird alternate-universe cartoon book from the 30s or something and it just makes the whole thing feel so weird, it’s great!

That being said, though, this issue just didn’t do it for me the way issues 1-4 have.  It’s still funny, but just doesn’t feel brilliant like the past few issues have.  Too much “Einstein and Twain,” methinks.  Also, I’m all for reading regular, non-picture books, but #5 starts off with two pages of prose, which was just kind of off-putting.  Tales Designed to Thrizzle is still highly recommended, but this one just didn’t work as well for me.

Well, that’s my angst-laden column this week!  Next Week’s Will Be Nice!

* Jesus, Timmy, did you have some bad fish or something?
** Me included.

One Comment to “Next Week’s Is Funny by Timmy Williams 5/02/09”

  1. Danno Klonowski | May 3rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    A thought on Free Comic Book Day…

    I always assumed it was a great idea, despite the fact it probably just attracts people who already read comics, as opposed to its original purpose of 1)getting new readers, and 2)selling Marvels latest film.

    During FCBD 2007, I was a Guest Nobody (along with a few other nobodies and a somebody or two) at a store in Rochester, MN. It was there that I was informed FREE Comic Book Day was in fact STICK IT TO THE STORES Comic Book Day.

    I had always assumed that the comic publishers just ate the cost of FCBD, seeing as how they are the ones who are trying to get new blood, so to find out the struggling-even-more-than-the-publishers-stores are the ones who are mostly getting the high-hat was pretty sad.

    Even in a pre-recession America, comic stores and their owners always seemed to be taking it extra hard on the chin to be a part of this industry we all love. They certainly don’t deserve to be the ones losing money so you can enjoy a free comic or twenty once a year.

    …And that store that was nice enough to treat me as an actual comic book artist, as opposed to somebody that just makes mini-comics no one cares about?—that store is gone.

    And Marvel?—still cranking out Wolverine comics and movie tie-ins.