Next Week’s is Funny With Timmy Williams 4/09/09
Categories: Next Week's Is Funny
[Above, Timmy Williams's new hat]
That Comic I Said I Like Last Week To Be Shitty Movie
So the guy writing the treatment for The Umbrella Academy movie also wrote Constantine. I punched that into my amazing Picto-graph* machine and determined this formula for what the UA will be like:
Sooooo…. if this…
became this…
Then I guess this…
is hopefully this…
…but will probably look like this.
Well, I guess it can’t be worse than that third Matrix movie where Keanu Reeves turns out to be Jesus, right? [Spoiler alert-ed.]
The Eisner Nominations Are Out
Are these the Oscars of comics? The Tonys? I don’t know, but I like that Stracynski writes maaayybe 40 pages a year and gets nominated all over the place. Good job dude. You’re a real inspiration to lazy dudes everywhere. I don’t care if you invented that space show. Get to it. But hey, Jason got nominated, and that dude is totally worth it. For a while I had Hey, Wait sitting out in my apartment and people would start reading it and I would warn them off because I don’t like Sobbing Parties**. That dude writes stories with adorable animal creatures that make you cry. I can’t figure out if that’s skill or evil but I love it.
FINALLY!
That picture is worth a babillion words, but did they really have to draw him that creepily muscly***? Obama, or, Ol’ Hopey as I call him, did say his favorite comics were Spider-Man and Conan, so I guess it’s his fault. Anyways, I am all in favor of Presidential Battle-Axes. And beheading Sarah Palin.
This Week’s Review:
I’m still waiting for new issues of RASL and Tales Designed to Thrizzle to come out. The Internet keeps telling me they should be out now, but they’re not. The Internet also told me once that I could get a free Xbox for out-farting the gorilla, but that didn’t happen either. It’s not to be trusted. Anyways, both great great things, those comics. Thrizzle is probably what Monty Python’s Flying Comic Book would be if it were a real thing and those guys weren’t all 80. RASL has more boning than Bone and is about time travel. The main character, Rasl, kind of looks like a post-apocalyptic Michael J. Fox, so I’m considering this series Back To The Future IV. The Lizard-Faced Man is probably Doc Brown. Or Biff.
Lastly, today is my birthday. Well, not today as in the day I’m writing this, but today as in the day this should be going up if I get it to Brian on time and he doesn’t die or something before he uploads it. It’s a dangerous world out there buddy. Be careful.
*I will definitely come up with a better name than “Picto-graph.” Jesus. Was I asleep? I’m pretty sure I’m awake now, but if I was wouldn’t I be coming up with a better name rather than writing about it?
**I had one once. BIG mistake.
***Those last couple words probably aren’t words.
Happy Birthday!
And yes, Obama the Barbarian is really creepy. Isn’t Michelle clinging to his legs below the crop in that picture too?
i love your style of comedy its so great the new season is so good ill watch 4 ever yo 4 shure i will be reading this each week i will support any thing from wkuk
love you timmy!
you’re the bestest***
***that’s not a word either.
Happy late B-Day. I just bought Umbrella Academy, haven’t read it yet though. I have a pretty big “To Read” pile at the moment. Congrats on the column, can’t wait to see what’s new next week.
Hey Timmy! Hope you had a great birthday! Loving the new season of WKUK and your column!
not jesus however majerks.
after reading this the matrix will make alot more sense. not jesus however majerks.
montauk moments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViodtfZyUzQ part one
confusion say much ado about the rings. there’s no other way to ‘xplain i was got at as a child, everything became embellished & covered up. perversely so through time. my brain attacked to forget the most happiest moment of my life. i was told to run along & as i did i saw them jeweled sparkle as they angled up the plank. no assistance just sparkle. i had found god. & infact if i skipped my pace i could greet both moving sparklers much quicker. the balloons & party attire the boat wore i then realised was for the sparklers shimmering up the plank. it was heaven baby on a hot summers night & god was sassying up the plank & i was skipping towards. i made happy i was happy the birds really were singing. there really was butterflies dodging streamers bearing missions of love & the music & balloons in the air was party.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwEMxYggoKQ
nothing could stop this baby. =_LzmdovYoAI&feature=related except bang there seemed to be this blob guarding. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=AepyGm9Me6w we had knocked heads i hadn’t seen him, sparklers so close. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=FvERN0H_BbI&feature=related i forwarded again black blob not understanding our noses may or may not have touched, who is to say? =k6dTEbKkXIM&feature=related the rings in reach. youtube.com/watch?v=Tv_gozoC6zs the rings began to walk away. i panicked i reached out the boat jolted, i tried to grab the rings, from the outside it may have appeared i was plie(d)ing ballet to get attention, no it was a harsh greedy grab for one of the rings. if you had noticed my cutsy footwork you would have seen me trip so i could grab her other hand. on reflection i can see there was where i made error i accept that now. i was no spring chicken i should have just skipped back. i was 5 young but look at 8 yr tatum cleaning her oscar. i let her live. she shook every day. i scammed i plotted i befriended. lisa simpson is not the only one that can see through time. i skidded her past it daily. i shoved her in pools mistaking it for overboard (yes there were reports of giant water baby sitting on ladybeautiful at bottom of pool nightly but i was blameless i was rather a large child. thank god that brick was never found.) & i ordered the double dosage of drugs for her food. they wanted her kids, me the rings & i let it go on daily not understanding her non compliance. she seemed so innocent to it all. com/watch?v=L5CeTDCFonw
i remember feeling to the skies when her son actually asked me my choice of colour of gift then i reached for above for forgiveness for he was just a man. there was only the one colour: a bracelet to pretty the rings. tube.com/watch?v=TBH8o8XXnVM&feature=related she quivered i know. we all did. i don’t know how she survived that boat trip. is she alive today? i do not know. she left half way, i was locked up caged messy business.
http://www.banksy.co.uk/manifesto/index.html to this day i don’t have a telephone in fear of the rings… VgRq3S1qync&feature=related … we re-met the rings & i. my brain only now just remembering. i was terribly unhappy but i thought nobody knew so emergency threrapy was flown in. “put the ring on dear. see if it fits.” even though i did not recognise it & there seemed no sign of the other sparkle that i didn’t remember there was a butterfly. i do know occasion. i was 12. i didn’t comprehend why it didn’t glue itself to my finger & why was the butterfly seemingly fluttering for some show? my finger had to grow. com/watch?v=Q8jbt0wBkMI
i learnt there & then what finger is the real f.u. sign. a memory of many many times on different parts of the cruise of a beautiful face smashed to the ground with my sandals warming we watch. gems were everywhere. fortunately we re-met again on familiar territory. the rings had to go out in the rain somedays but were always complemented by a gorgeous leather, that first nudged me gently then behaved in the most aspiring enviable way. between the leather & the glass & gold i am sworn to silence as they are the foundations of disuede. but patterns of mind could not help be repeated. the gorgeous leather had hid the rings in the audienced spotlight but backstage with glitter & gold patterning it’s map i found them. the scent of stage fright, excitement & love filled with wigs & facepaint only highlighted their throne. the feathers & silks & satins that she had coverted could did not hide the metal that sewed, the final mineral the last guard. my eyes sparkled where was the reciprecation? she had seconds to live. i thanked her for their security. i was 14 yr old 5yr old. i know i went outside myself screaming through the theatre like a crazed banshee on premenstral pleading to hide the rings.
hide them all. no glass was safe. the windows tried to hide behind the curtains. i was blind to no glass. com/watch?v=coOgMAaHdhY if it wasn’t pretty at 5, 14 was going to be some say in the family regretable others just a look away some giggle. com/watch?v=S82Zbr3JeGs
i must re-charge now i had to do many eons of moon, (mars, jupiter, uanus i forget which planet home ship my regal ass comes from,) travelling to fully comprehend the chanelling of therapy. excepting one’s own errors of actions seems to have leveled me to a higher yet tiring ground… …clearly the chanelling like it seems for everybody else forced me to look at my personal =40WVabKI-G0&feature=related involvement in these 2 gems why both? hadn’t i before 10 actually sat in jewels & to apologise for the effected play was kindly more diamonded so i could just be pretty. by a cat no less. she is the queen cat, her beauty told you that. she purred she mothered she pampered.
yes her hopeful jewels an attraction to outlast but it was her performance of waves crashing, beauty just being, an unheard script. a need for reassurance, his jaw dropping at her…that made me order him that she or her equal could be the only woman he could ever even glance at. she is this cat’s cream. he never found her equal, i knew he never could or even would. she sparkled, i sparkled we all sparkled. i knew first gemed there were other jewels hidden in life, that did & will continue to sparkle. there were re-placements no need to dis-. but how question a woman of glass? all the family knew that prince charming did live happily ever after. no offspring was ever to forget the family slipper & maybe it was years of remembering stories of nothing that allowed me to reflect when i saw those 2 gems that enabled them time to run run to the horizon. /watch?v=s8oqKyVW978
i do not know how or why i failed my mission each time. impossible for some, for a mind so controlled a breeze yet error after error the gorgeous just kept on breathing & walking i heard some days she talked too… i have to go canadian health care after me…chanting to jupiter bases uanus followers everywhere…hitting overground. life
battles on. watch?v=IVFT7i94zQU portrait above. .com/watch?v=f5qPzvHxlIA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pm6RNo8bPk part 2 the f.i.b. throw great importance on lineage. so i will explain the hidden lines.
after great uncle prince charming married rapunzel, (raps for short) the ugwe sisters made a pact with the greys allowing the f.i.b. to form undercover, underground. i don’t know who this adam weist charcter is (who the ill arty’s try to claim) i thought he was batman. no. i just feel in the era of hope after years of f.i.b. control, we are all a mass of chattering messes. blogs, reality t.v. chatter chatter. let out that pressure. so i believe we can handle the truth. there are other heritages to claim or unite with. so i will begin to explain the hidden. families that have always been around as long as the f.i.b. it goes back to the sisters. the ugwe’s & lies & asses got together so the family had to run. so they cut a deal with the peacekeepers the family from both sides suffered heavily from degafra syndrome so it became imperative that they flee. there is a fabled line that many have destroyed due to their syndrome. i believe the syndrome is teachings most definitely, genetic i do not know. i suffer from it highly, i am unable to comment. the family name is Degafra. many have chosen an alliance unaware of an affiliation. i do see the signs especially on the internet, the foundation of communication. =dgGMBDCU_IU&feature=related the Degafra’s Don’t Ever Give A Flying Rats’ Ass. ?v=ouQ3HeluFV4 i know there is no family coat of arms as nobody could be assed. when the ugwe’s went in for the ill artys formula of assault, monsters serving up poisons. uncle & aunty charm just got up & left. no jibes, no revenge they just couldn’t be assed to die. all tribes are born of love, which led to this royal ass holding up guardians of tunnels to find true love. x1_KAaFpk6A&feature=related i am married; child bride. watch?v=CXKxs8Ge_9g&feature=related (groovy.yet i see a sign of attack, war. do i see a genuine careless vulgar gem? i see hope to match. keep the bling & go for hope.)
i am deeply in love with my husband. we re-met over fries burgers & chips & shared the chocolate milk. v=63CiRbiaoFo&feature=related he has a drool problem, i over him. =AI4N_Ri3Mlk&feature=related
i make no apologies over our love. /watch?v=-38oelOufDc why should anybody?
com/watch?v=UQ769enS62M he is a yet he … amongst men. a man with an appetite. a man of russian stance. watch?v=kvDMlk3kSYg&feature=related
his title Jerkofathead Degafra does not show the true man i love. we have had a blissfull union. how? we have learned to love each others quirks. com/watch?v=Ygs2xfjJG2M i admit i probably should not have gone for so many dinners with stan & karen, will & graces’s friends or encouraged both men to snort the buffet areas. v=av6AucgbL24 i think of them both fondly. it was at their last public dinner, they divorced TWD55xbQE&feature=related that i last saw my husbands eyes. that last snort of the beef fat seemed to just add to his bountiful face, i saw the fat run around the body then finally settle on the last fat free spot just under the eyes. i can only think of it as beef o suction in reverse. =RT37zNj44JU&feature=related the added bonus no lines around the eyes. be.com/watch?v=nLLEBAQLZ3Q financially yes things got tight but he changed his ways as soon as our daughter was born. his world became beautiful. /watch?v=IAbbXbZKph0 he just wanted what ever she wanted. she wanted her dad. ‘more’ she would shriek with giggles. =FXrT8tz5nCc&feature=related so he took her at her word. he got a deal add ‘n fat. every fat burger in town not only wanted him they got him. if it’s fat my jerky is there. well in the old days. when things became difficult we lived off his shares. (years of others selling off my homeship then me regaining have taught me the value of a share.) we were happy, he taught our daughter to dribble, so she picked up a ball. when he was working he was able to be the goal post plus consume whole turkeys as he dribbled however soon the balls disappeared into his waist area. when we couldn’t get the last one out of his arm fat, as a family we addressed the problem. =blvNOCdyoUk&feature=related Jerkofath moved into the spare room & watched her from a far. we got him the internet because it is brimming with advice. he had an addiction we love each other it would be alright.
due to beef o suction he got on the wrong page yet sadly he left it more informed. he denied his addiction. he had read that other sufferers used apendages. in anger i picked up the teaspoon with fact & cried what is this? he didn’t know, he hadn’t seen anything smaller than a ladle in years. he decided that the other addicts were thin & gaunt due to the apendages. he was unable to heave to a dr. or drug store so he rolled down the plank from the ground floor to the garden & literally rolled on the garden hose. he liked it a lot. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=v7Av7g3e1Jc&NR=1 afterwards he glowed for he realised it could also be used for sucking chicken wings. com/watch?v=zxtvHxQllzM it really was a happy time in our marraige. our daughter got into more dribbling that turned into watching the games. you know usual stuff. but then her hobby began to affect the family balance. well it wasn’t the hobby so much it was the man. not so much the man, the talent.
=2TblzSiImUM&feature=related i have no time or will to reflect on another womans husband, we all have family quirks i’m sure he has his thing but his effect seems to have imbalanced our very normal household. com/2006/10/cow-poetry.html i being practically canadian, http://www.cowabduction.com/ = http://www.dublinka.com/pics/cow_poetry.jpg ignored him at first. he looked so very thin. no jerky, i can only see my russian yet he looks so i couldn’t see anything frightning about him. i allowed my daughter to bring him in our home. walls were covered, conversations interupted & ended with b. they moved to europe so i went to a game with her, it’s when i re-met my love for fabric. there was a circus playing nearby & i thought of great uncle levi in the great west. men bleeding from mining, fighting off billy the kid with the old, my greys don’t like your greys attitude. no pants the only fabric left, tent. he was a master of design & fabric there could not be such a barrier that he could cross. in a world of silks of asian butterflies, wools of tibet & scarlet’s cotton of crisp he could not let man wear tent. however life shook those mines & him. some call it denim in our family we call it tent. i com/watch?v=RBHZFYpQ6nc&feature=related cried with tears of mind control when i saw the circus, the family com/watch?v=eWyznYNWeLs still safe. they got upset as always, this time i took their family home for jerkys caftan. they see it as i chose him each time & i do. so there has been tension, which of course i blame them, he doesn’t need anymore grief, who does? /watch?v=4MR6D7tL38U&feature=related
we moved to l.a. to be closer to b. all the shares gone. jerks got a job marketing the l.a. branch of add ‘n fat. he managed to get them to hook one of their outlets to the garden hoses yes plural so he was able to watch his heart practise every day. it was working. love always conquers. except he got hold of some flyer with b emblazoned. the ambulance was called he had to be prized off a goal post, we are a waiting trial. those 2 ambulance men & police walked into him. fortunately f.i.b. hidden camera’s will see men going in, lost football & sportsgear coming out. our daughter hugs those lost footballs at nightime.
she loves her dad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tnP8Yaxvys
the picture of him when he gets so excited, his hoses swirling from every orafice his chatter of grunts & squeals fills my heart & head everyday. we are the degafra’s we are fat love. we get through it all. as we await his trial he was told to be seen publically so he got a job back at add n’ fat. look things got tight o.k. i am the mother, the wife i had to be the one on control briefly. i made choices that probably could have been better. i panicked. once the shares went, the dividents could no longer be eaten. hoses started dropping i replaced the fat with sugar. i gave him soda 15 sugars one can. his weight went back on, the bladder problem started, his teeth just shattered. we’d find them everywhere. so i replaced his teeth with fries. cute he advertises their wares by mouth & he will never go hungry.
alas as i did argue with the family & took their chips. (their argument being an ass is an ass. i agree but i’d rather rule some smarty ass’s then not. so we argue.) com/watch?v=QM7Bc91iVm8
somedays he gets confused & picks up the wrong box. he doesn’t need t.v. he is wired to all communication. i do quieten him with a glass of water, my jerks. electric household. we live a quiet life very few come to the door. except last week the b poster new york times square. i did cry. i admit it. i went to the police station & got out my own summons why wait for the obvious? i thought of going to the b family but time has altered my looks too. com/watch?v=haCmP8qmaFc the upshot is not good. be.com/watch?v=OhL9it_elqY he is my husband he is the man i love, the man i will take back to my homeship.
i can only stand by him. .com/watch?v=Gwh1Hu7Y5RI i don’t understand why the press & police are hounding me daily (our daughter is with another we would never put her through this invasion.) h?v=s0FNckgqtlA i agree he does have a history. i don’t know where he is. all clues of missing garden hoses seem to be heading towards the big l.a. football field. the police orignally thought it was new york. i assured the the intergalactic f.b.i. that he didn’t equate to king kong, ?v=qsHVLaNsCSg i felt insulted. am i that hairy?
i am a Degafra i think we will return to our colony, the bushes gave us more than enough gas. i am a Degafra, uranus is mine. watch?v=xEPfSWk0Lsw to all members of f.i.b. i can only quote muffin’s brilliant matrix’s cat’s pace… watch?v=F1hdnQOegqo&NR=1 all tender issues regarding public outrage can be directed to agent edna. fair?re tale. to submit re add. 1QS7wWzwak4&feature=related in brief the secret to all life is … v=pBY5HxO8Qus&feature=related with huge dollops of WHY NOT? =TT7moha4pqk&feature=related get off yer fatters & charge the pigs that invaded the middle east & told you you had to pay for it with lives & your health care or whatevr else you miss out on. atch?v=Q-ezaxiKe-Y royal advise. /watch?v=AdKxUH59Xas&feature=related family syndrome; unable to alter angle on life yet … always v=qzMWe6XyVdc&feature=related .
due to repeating myself v=ayAoDF7DGQY&feature=related
v=LnaZqHy2ZHE&feature=related & tube.com/watch?v=G5NZI8NmBLA charge the bushes. you are allowed. be.com/watch?v=fsPdmYb4T4k + .com/watch?v=-ERnT1X9HPw = you. i do have an existance, i move forward in hope of fishboy. com/watch?v=CUxUbYUHExs. so what is it to be smarty or just plain dumb u.s.a. ass’s? the choice has always been yours. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=xht0HcPryWA (princess rosie you were royal.) i have no vote in this but you do. =Qu02IkTK6gY&feature=related with hose ‘n RAINBOWS ‘iary. xxx =gg9risPCQVQ&feature=related charge the bushes. =O0JOfe6a8TE&feature=related. it worked for me might nudge you. watch?v=a4vEHqY-3FA&feature=related then everbody lived happy ever afterwards…’cos behind the scenes, rehearsals. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WmQMnNFKA0 com/watch?v=zidtV_cnDDA
managing not so funny montauk. watch?v=qBtO1He5Gp8&feature=related 8Q0I1NDbEgE&feature=related appearlin’. /watch?v=ER1CaClLMlQ (for homer.) pear watch?v=ipOz_k9zvzo&feature=related & ukonline.co.uk/ray.d8/poems.html bananas you can charge the bush criminals be fair.v=54XRNQ2C2×0 see re(a)d. & com/watch?v=STKkWj2WpWM&feature=related